Keeping your Anticipation from tipping over into Disappointment
We all need something to look forward to.
I was going down to Disney’s Food and Wine Festival for the first time in over two years. Walt Disney World is an escape for me, and this trip was really needed.
My anticipation for the trip was enormous and building.
I hadn’t seen my brother and his family since being down in Orlando when my mother passed away. It has been over two years. I was also looking forward to relaxing and enjoying time with my wife. I escape my daily grind with Disney.
Planning, planning, planning drives up my excitement. It’s funny how the Walt Disney World arch is the image I see as a positive gateway.
Was my growing anticipation setting me up for disappointment? What about the build-up is too much, and then is a letdown once I get there? How can I live in the moment and just enjoy the experience? All these thoughts are running through my mind.
A bit of background on anticipation
Anticipation for me is the positive side of looking forward to something great. I am not talking about negative anticipation or getting into anticipatory anxiety. Where you are spiraling to what COULD go or be wrong.
Do I always exaggerate the positive or negative? Does your mind automatically exaggerate the positive? Although I can see situations where it also magnifies the negative. This is his back to self-talk? Both positive and negative. I hope the spontaneity does not go away from Disney.
Anticipation is a good thing.
Always have one thing to look forward to that you can use to get through challenging times / or a demanding experience. Anticipation can be a stepping stone to hope.
Steven Handel wrote an excellent post on anticipation, “The Power of Anticipation: Why We All Need Something to Look Forward To,” and cites a study that suggested gambles can curb their impulses and choose long-term gratification over short-term gratification when asked to think about a future experience.
Here are some questions I have, and frankly, I don’t know the answers:
Does your general dispositive impact what type of anticipation you have? Do you tend towards anticipation or dread?
Is there a situation where you move towards positive because the mind is looking for something positive? It is a case where are your preference for positivity comes through?
Do you think it gets back to the need for certainty? This can be especially important when you are looking forward to something you have previously done.
How can I ensure that your anticipation is positive and that it doesn’t lead to disappointment?
Here are seven ideas that you do to improve the chances that your anticipation turns into a good experience, not into dread:
Get clarity on what you are anticipating – what exactly am I looking forward to, and why? Are you looking for a chance to unwind, experience a new thrill? Be clear. What is your anticipation bug?
Set reasonable expectations of what your Anticipation bug is and how the event/decision can satisfy it. Right after clarity, define how this event, experience is going to fulfill that anticipation bug. This should help highlight any significant gaps – the event can or can’t reasonably satisfy your anticipation bug – a first red flag of potential disappointment.
What specifically about the future action/event is going to satisfy your anticipation bug? This helps ensure that what you are doing is going to tie into your anticipation. If it doesn’t connect, you really have no chance.
When you are during doing what you were anticipating or experiencing what you were expecting, think back to the anticipation bug; are you explicitly doing what you were anticipating?
At the moment – think back to the anticipation bug – is it doing that?
Then – are you trying to satisfy that bug? Get clarity at the moment – is the event quenching your anticipation bug? Is it providing other unanticipated benefits, joy?
And finally, are you going too far or trying too hard to enjoy it to gain pleasure?
In my mind, it all comes down to being aware. Are you aware of what you are anticipating and then intention or mindful of what you are experiencing during it?
How do you handle anticipation? Let us know in the comments below.